Monday, July 9, 2012

human behavior

I’m trying to write something down, maybe trying to keep some sort of memory.  
I feel incomplete a lot.
Not physically, not anything outward.  I’m not really sure. I think my brain is empty. I think someone has robbed me. I think I’ve robbed myself. I’ve ripped out all of my memories and shoved them into a camera and I have none in my brain anymore. They’re there of course, because I have the photographs; I’ll always have the photographs.
Sometimes I cry because I can’t remember a moment. Maybe that’s why I take pictures. To keep a moment that I don’t even remember - I have it in photograph form just so I know it existed at some point. To know that all of this isn’t fake, that I’m not some sort of figment of my imagination. 
Maybe that’s why I photograph myself; to prove to myself that I’m actually real. I want to know that I’m there. But I don’t see my outer body, it’s like someone has turned me inside out. My mind is on the outside, but it’s falling apart.
Maybe I take photographs to keep my mind from falling right out of my head.


  1. These photographs are absolutely stunning, your words are very inspiring and also understandable. You are extremely talented!

  2. amber these photos and your last photos are all just overwhelmingly wonderful!!! my all-time favourites of yours ever, they are perfect and beautiful and i honestly can't stop looking at them and i don't want to stop looking at them either. a whole new level of perfect princess !

  3. OH MY GOD. these are beyond amazing. WOW.

  4. Wonderful pictures and a very beautiful touching text.

  5. wow i second with everything you say. we are kinda in the same situation!
    are these self-portraits? they are gorgeous!!

  6. I am so deeply impressed by your talent, your artistic vision, your words, especially considering your age.

  7. this almost made me cry, so beautiful. I actually feel really really similar to what you wrote.
    You have to show us more of your writing.
    and just.. you're so special.

  8. Wow this is an amazing blog. Sometimes even the most in depth human behavior studies can't capture the essence of what it is to be human like a bold unfearing photograph can. Keep up the good work!